Living with ADHD at times feels like one is finding their way through a maze with twisted paths. For many years, I could not find my balance, always feeling out of step with everything around me.
It took me over a decade after my diagnosis to truly learn how to live comfortably with ADHD.
Here’s a look at how I got there.
Discovering ADHD: An explanation
Twelve years ago, I finally had a name for that constant sense of disconnection and confusion I’d always felt – ADHD. Though this diagnosis was relieving, it marked only the beginning of a long journey.
The Initial Relief and the Challenges That Followed
When I started taking the medication, it worked as though a miracle. It was the first point in my life where I got to experience such a sense of focus and clarity. However, with time the effects of the drugs seemed to fade away leading me into much worse confusion that ever before.
Reflection back shows that while some of my career highs were likely driven by ADHD characteristics like risk-taking and creativity, a lot of times, these same traits were equally destructive, I was pursuing success without any logic. This endless chase ended in burnout one too many times.
Hitting a Wall: Realising ADHD Was Running the Show
It took another “success” story turned burnout - one that left me completely drained and bewildered, to make me realise that my ADHD was the one which controlled how I lived rather than vice versa. In that moment, I knew that something had to change and that something was me.
Finding the Right Support and Embracing Change
After some soul-searching, I found the right combination of support that truly helped transform my approach to living with ADHD. This included specific therapies, ADHD coaching, and continuing medication.
Above all; I discovered that it was most important to accept and own my ADHD, once and for all.
What It Means to Own my ADHD
Taking full responsibility: I stopped using ADHD as an excuse and started learning about it in-depth. So no longer did I wallow in self-pity but instead confronted the draining and bewildering reality of my situation.
Seeking the right help: This is something I knew I could not do alone, I'd tried that before, it never worked. I worked closely with professionals who helped me comprehend my unique relationship with ADHD and also taught me various strategies to manage it effectively, including ADHD Coaching.
Living a More Balanced Life
Today – after some ups and downs – My life is more balanced than ever before, I finally trust myself while projecting into the future. It’s not that I don’t experience bad days but now when they occur, I handle them better and prevent further deterioration into worse situations. I've connected with what makes me tick and understood situations and environments I should avoid, where possible.
I suspect that those struggling with ADHD in a perpetual cycle, may be stuck there without embracing the need for owning your condition. For me, being guided through a path of understanding, translating and getting myself to action on my own terms, to confront the lies I was telling myself, and really understanding my challenges was actually an enjoyable process, despite some initial struggle and frustration that things had gotten so far off track to this point.
But despite feeling so overwhelmed with the challenges of ADHD, accepting and owning it in a new way , may give you a sense of power back into your life. You can develop a mindset that means you keep learning new ways such as exploring various strategies and options before finding which ones work best for you alone. You can do this because finally, you get it, you know yourself in a much better way.
In Summary
What I Didn't Choose:
❌ I didn’t choose to live with a brain that often felt chaotic and inconsistent.
❌ I didn’t choose to find everyday tasks difficult and experience constant frustration.
❌ I didn’t choose to battle chronic insomnia and periods of low mood, questioning myself at every turn.
What I Did Choose:
✅ To deny my ADHD when medication seemed to fail, which led to even more challenges.
✅ To finally recognise that only I could make a meaningful change.
✅ To take ownership of my ADHD, seek out new strategies, and accept that managing it was my responsibility, not just for myself, but for those around me.
If you are living like I was and want to understanding how you can take ownership of your own ADHD, reach out and book a free session with me to discuss or send me an email if that's too much right now: Get in touch.
